Blank wall fetish

Last Wednesday, I visited Kate at uni to discuss a mural project around the construction site at VUW. “You need to give me the dates you will be painting,” she explained. “I’ll pass them on to my boss, who will talk to the site manager, who will consider our proposal, respond to my boss, who will tell me, and then I’ll email you.” I looked out her office window. The construction site was a hundred metres away. “Can’t I just go ask the guy myself?” I asked. That isn’t an option. There are protocols to these things at a place like uni.

There are two days of sun and I waited impatiently for the go ahead. It was pretty frustrating. Up at uni there is a big beautiful, blank white piece of wall that belongs to me. I want it bad. Seriously! Honestly! I was gagging to rub my hairy brushes all over that baby.

Today was the day... GO! I packed up buckets, tins of paint, brushes, a drop cloth, lunch, water, etc. I loaded myself up and started the 30min walk up to uni. I wear ripped, paint splattered jeans, singlet and sneakers. It’s going to be a messy day. As I walk, I build the picture I want to create in my mind and feel myself falling into that meditative trance where creative expression thrives. It is a great feeling. 

A third of the way there, my arms start burning. I have a bag over each shoulder and a bucket in each hand. I’m starting to ACHE. But I don’t care. I feel like a gung ho, working class artist. By the time I reach the steep hill the endorphins have kicked in, numbing the pain and feeding my natural high. Paint, paint, paint, PAINT!

I finally reach the site and drop all my gear. I just want to sit and gaze lovingly at my wall in all its shining potential. I eat. This is REALLY important. Once I start painting, hours will pass like minutes and I will forget about food and water and other petty distractions from painting. Hours later I’ll think to myself... wow, I’m really cold! Or... hey, how long have I been needing to pee? But right now, as I eat, gaze and dream up colourful pictures... the world sharpens and shrinks into a tiny space made just for me and my wall. Blank wall. MY BLANK WALL.

That’s when the rain started falling...